|Hoardsmas looks a lot more like a present swapping pictorial in 2014.|
I can't believe it's that time of year again. Yet, it is. It's HOARDSMAS. We've covered the day itself at least two times before in 2012 and 2013 as well as Hoardsmas themed articles you may care to read (or re-read) about He-man, Power Lords, Super Powers, Dear Santy Letters and Holiday Listicles.
Despite all this, you'd be surprised at how many letters we get every day asking us about HOARDSMAS.
Predominantly stuff like "What is it?" and "Isn't it just Christmas?" or "How do I celebrate it? I need to know for my lifestyle."
So let me clarify it all for you, right now, once and for all, and for those playing along at home.
HOARDSMAS is about buying material possessions you absolutely don't need and giving them to people you mostly like (and occasionally people you only tolerate), under the guise of a magical creature is the one actually giving it to them. You may NOT take credit for these presents. The magical Hoardo Beast dropped them at your recipient's house for funsies! Don't mess this part up or you'll ruin hopes and dreams.
HOARDSMAS occurs whenever Hoardax can be bothered taking photos of the event. Sometimes this coincidentally lands on your planet's "Christmas Day." Often, not.
HOARDSMAS is about including everybody (regardless of denomination) in something most people can bond over: Alcoholism and Consumerism. If done correctly it can be a fun time for all.
I may or may not be drinking Egg Nog as I write this.
Please commit Hoardsmas responsibly.
But don't forget the most important aspect of HOARDSMAS!
After the magical Hoardo Beast gives you your material possessions, you have to briefly look at your new gifts with unbridled awe and a sense of satisfaction, before putting them in a box and not looking at them again for years.
Do this for long enough and you too can have an area in your very own headquarters that gives you anxiety when you walk in there.
Now, that's the true spirit of Hoardsmas!